I’m (feeling) old.

The other day I went in for my annual physical, and ended up going in for my first EKG.
Everything was fine, and they gave me the usual “if you don’t hear from us, that’s good news.”
I left thinking that I was going to start treating myself better. Like eating healthier, and giving up caffeine…or at least cutting my coffee intake from eight cups a day to one.
Quitting cold turkey is not for me. I just spent three days sleepwalking with what I can only assume was a migraine, before giving in and going to Tim Horton’s this morning.

Last night as I was leaving work, I ended received a call from the doctor’s office. They said they wanted to talk to me about my test results. It would have been nice if they would have specified right off the top, that it wasn’t for the EKG, as that’s what I was worried about the most…and the thought of that being the issue almost gave me a heart attack. Apparently my cholesterol is the reason they want to see me. I assume it’s a little high from years of living off of baconators and double quarter pounders…and goddamn, I really want a hamburger now, but this whole “cholesterol” thing has got me freaked out enough to join a gym and go vegetarian.

I really hope this meeting is because of a mix up, or some kind of error. I like to think a lab tech somewhere, somehow managed to spill gravy and ranch dressing into my blood sample while they were running theirs tests.

Sadly, the truth is this: I’m getting old, and for the past thirty some odd years, I’ve treated my body like shit, and now I have to do a better job of looking after it.

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